I MUST be on CRACK...Part 2

And the saga continues...

...After work I went straight home with the intent to look at my book...What is that they say about the best laid plans...of mice and men? Well whatever it is...it's probably true...my plans were interrupted by a sleepy child, a couple of phone calls and the need to consume massive quantities Kool-Aid and Cheetos (not necessarily in that order...Cheetos and Kool-aid ALWAYS come first). I put the book on the kitchen island (commonly referred to as the Bermuda Triangle) and went on about my day. I sort of forgot about it...until two days later.

I was on the phone with my mom and decided to do recon on the kitchen island. When I found it...it was like finding the cure for the common cold...my palms got sweaty, I was short of breath, I felt light headed and a little dizzy...I looked at the pictures on the cover and the price tag and then I looked in the book and saw that there were 352 pages of home made goodness...that is when I almost fainted for real.

After sitting with my head between my leg for three minutes and assuring my mother that I was OK...I opened the book and looked at the Table of Contents. At this point every thing went black and I dropped the phone and fell to the floor...when I regained consciousness I immediately began to pray: "Dear God in heaven...why have You been so good to me?? I am but a lowly servant and yet You see fit to do so much for me...You have given me life, health, strength and a reasonable portion of sense and now, Dear Lord...You have given me this book...(with tears in my eyes and praise in my heart) Lord...I am not worthy!! Please Lord give me the wisdom, strength and knowledge to use it to better the lives of those whom I love and my fellow blogers...in Your son Jesus' name I pray...~amen." I dusted the crumbs off my arms and legs, did a quick hallelujah dance and went to the couch to read.

I tried to read the Table of Contents in its entirety...but my blood pressure kept going up and I would start seeing stars...I decided that this was just tooooo much excitement to bear so I launched a surprise attack...I opened up the book to page 13 and decided to look at every page, I figured that this would be safer because surely I would encounter things that I didn't like...at which time my body would rest.

EVERYTHING in the table of contents sounded so good that my nervous and cardiac systems were in overload. Once I got into the book, I did encounter a few recipes that I considered "GROSS" like Chicken Liver Pate (pg. 48) , at which time I would close my eyes and take a couple of deep breaths and allow my heart rate to return to normal. It was touch and go when I got to the Flowerpot Brioche (pg 56) ,who doesn't LOVE any food that can be cooked in a flower pot? But I was able to maintain...actually I was stable...that is, until I hit page 182.

Page 182 was when I completely blacked out...I am not sure how long I was out, but when I woke up my kids were home from school, they had been bathed, had on their PJ's and were kissing me good night. I had found it...my Lido, Roxanne, Snow toke...my Space basing, White cloud, Black Rock...my CRACK!!

I found a recipe for...drum roll pleeeeease...Minty-Fresh Toothpaste (pg. 182). Are you asking yourself "What kind of normal person gets this excited over toothpaste...especially toothpaste that you have to make yourself...Is she CRAZY??" The key word in your question is "normal." (quick prayer: Dear Lord, why am I so different from other people?? Why do I find joy in the strangest things?? Why can't I be content with Aqua Fresh and Crest...like normal people?? Dear Lord...is there something wrong with me?? Am I a Dateline Expose waiting to happen?? Lord, I know that You do all things in Your time...when You have time...could You please reveal the answer to me?? I would surely appreciate it...while I'm waiting...I'm going to read this recipe...PLEASE help me stay conscious...please slow my heart rate and lower my blood pressure and allow me to at least read the ingredients...if you think I can handle it~amen)

Praise God from whom ALL blessings flow...because, apparently He thought I could handle it and I remained conscious and was able to read the recipe. Actually, I read it about 29 times. Each time I read it...it was as though I was breathing for the first time...it was all consuming and overwhelming...it was pure joy and pleasure...it was EVERYTHING that I needed at that moment...I was whole and complete...I was...HIGH!!!

But wait...there's more...Stay tuned for part 3...


~Quita