Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?
<>They are airtight because...if air got back into them, they would would swell back up and become...well...maybe...dumplings...??? If they became dumplings...the bags and boxes would eventually explode and make a HUGE mess in the grocery store isles. Not to mention the mess in our kitchen cabinets. And, don't forget the lawsuits that would soon follow...'cause I already HATE to clean...can you imagine how mad I would be if I had to:
1. get dressed and find my car keys,
2. go to the store (and Lord FORBID I have to take any of my kids with me),
3. resist the temptation of all the stuff I would have to pass just to get to the croutons,
4. get the croutons,
5. go to the register,
6. get in line behind 27 people,
7. wait for 30 minutes while the person in front of me tells the cashier "I only have $23.98, so when you get close to that let me know...I might have to put something back...,"
8. finally get face to face with the cashier who now has a MAJOR attitude,
9. put the croutons on the belt along with a Snickers bar wrapper, an empty Mountain Dew bottle and an opened pack of Big Red,
10. realize that I forgot my wallet in the car,
11. go back to the car,
12. say a quick prayer: Dear Lord PLEASE let my wallet be in the car,
13. realize that my wallet and purse are at home,
14. count out all of my change in the little blue cup in the car and realize that I still don't have enough money,
15. look under every seat and in the glove compartment for more money,
16. walk back into the store while looking at the ground hoping that I can find a dime...or 10 while saying a quick prayer: Dear Lord please let me see someone in here that I know who can loan me $.50,
17. getting back in the line...all the while praying that I overlooked a pocket on my coat that contains $.50,
18. getting face to face with the now...even GRUMPIER cashier...and trying to explain how I am $.50 short,
19. enduring the sighs of torment from the people behind me and the steam now rising from the cashier's head,
20. put on my best "puppy dog face" and proceed to beg anyone who will listen for $.50,
21. swallow my pride and take it from the 4th person behind me who practically throws the money at me because he/she is sooo outraged...
Now after ALL of that CRAP...if they exploded in my cabinet...it would be on and popping!!! I would resurrect Johnny Cochran from the dead to litigate this one!!
So, boys and girls...that is why croutons come in an airtight bag...because of people like me!!! Because the good Lord knows that I am fragile...and it would not take much to push me over the edge...(quick prayer: Dear Lord, thank You for knowing my limitations and keeping me sane by putting croutons in airtight packages. ~amen)
~quita
Hilarious !!! From here on out, whenever I have to ask myself, "Now why do they wrap the food like this?" or "Why do they package this where I can hardly open it?" or "How they gonna tie this stuff down so tight, I can't get it out!" FROM NOW ON, I will know its because of people like you - Quita!! And...I have to admit I dig around in my purse at the check out counter holding up the line because I like to give exact change. I'm never ready. By the way, my purse is the diaper bag. I have not carried a purse in eight years, sad. And I've come up short at check out, too. I end up putting something back. I've given coins to people before, but nobody has returned the favor, POO! And Quita I just can't stop laughing, you're nuts!
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